Acknowledgement and Thankyous April 27

As I am thinking who to start with like kathleen and Elenor for coming to see us last weekend my mind goes to all the people who helped them to do that. Barbara who drove her mother to Sacramento airport and to pick up, totally a four hour drive, and Betty who tookcare of Elenors great granddaughter who Elenor has provided a home for. Then Randy and Laura who made Kathleens trip possible...All of us do what we do with more help from others than we take time to reflect or even be aware of. Like the ripples that are created throwing a pebble in a pond. Not a perfect analogy but you get what I mean.

Thank you Rachel,Joe, Richard, Eddie, and Susie for your comments, feedback information and poetry.Eddie, I love your(Bob Dylan) lyrics and after I put Grampa's psalm, they seemed to go together!They are running through my head at the same time somehow,so I'm going to print a copy of both and carry it with me through this and endeavor. Also thankyou Eddie for the beautiful red bag and the miniture 'Abba Zabba candy!Abba Zabba!was the word we shouted out, out fishing when an albacore bit on a line and stretched out the shock cord while trolling.We really enjoyed them Eddie.

April 28
After I wrote the above we proceeded to have an eventful day. During a morning appointment the Dr told us I have some Lukemia cells in the marrow.
1.They biopsied bone in addition to marrow. for the first time, in my case the lukemia was scattered here and there in clumps, some places with no lukeimia. So you don't know in advance if any given bone sample will show. Wheather it would be a clea area, or an area with clusters. If the sample is out in a clear area they would tell you your in remission and you wouldn't be. In the marrow part of the bx, which is what I've had before, it was clear of L. as it has been since the 2nd bx nine months age. This part of the bx continued not to show any disease. Without the bone part of the bx, they would believe I was still in remission and gone ahead with the transplant when I really was not.

So when they told us I'm no longer in remission the DR. came in and presented another protocol which is more intense using radiation that goes directly to the L. cells.

Now that they know whats in there they inject an antibody that finds lukemia cells with a radioactive substance which is attacted only to bone marrow leukimia cells, when this glowing antibody finds a lukemia cell it gives it a dose (lethal radiation) and moves on.

Positive point #2

This is a wildly precise form of treatment.Generally, with any cancer treatment they can't know if all cancer cells are gone, radiation and Chemo do not just go after sick cells like this does.

God knows if it will come to this, this is what they say today. To get the transplant I will have to provide a 95% clean bone sample after the treatment.

Out of control point #3 Is there a mouse in the house?

We were told the antigen conponent is derived from mice so I would have a test to show I do not have an antibody to mice. If I did, it would show it would render the antigen ineffective so the treatment wouldn't work. As the doctor moved on I stopped him and said we had those (White rats, your history comes back to haunt you).His eyes glazed over, did one ever bite you?, No. Later we wondered is a rat different from a mouse?. I just told the Dr. I didn'g know why the hell we had them, the kids wanted them!

Future positive point #4

The degree of success they have had with "antibody therapy" he didn't say what that was;has caused them to include the older person.

I'll post more later. I am still seeking more info and I have an appt with the same dr that presented me with all the above tomarrow to clarify and ask questions. But the transplant that was planned is out because I am not in remission.

We have had a good day today, Cathy is here and we are all settled in our home away from home- out flat. I feel good and it is fun and invigorating to be in a different environment. We will go home overnight tuesday. Taking one day at a time and enjoying everything. I read psam 27 and 18 again last night and kept reading other ones adjacient to those,and wanted to keep going trying to have an awareness that this is a good thing to do, it is a worthy thing to do,This is truly meditation and is beneficial and put you in touch with human experience thousands of years ago, it feels weighty and somehow calming.

Love, to all the family meaning all reading this, thankyou for your daily caring thoughts and support. Margie